Why “Boys Will Be Boys” is wrong.

Growing up, I’ve heard the expression “boys will be boys” many times. It’s usually when a boy does something immature, perverted, or downright mean. Take a man who constantly disrespects his wife by going to strip clubs. “Oh don’t worry it’s just boys being boys, he can’t help it.” But where does this helplessness start and end? Why is it okay for someone to get a pass because of their gender? If a girl watches Magic Mike and it pisses off her husband she can’t say “Girls will be girls, I can’t help looking at Channing Tatum!” It’s such a double standard in society. It takes away the responsibility we all have to be decent human beings.

It teaches boys that they can be as rambunctious, perverted, aggressive and mean all they want, while girls have to be dainty, like little dandelions. From a young age young girls are conditioned to watch Disney movies like Cinderella, Mulan, Snow White, etc. These movies teach girls that one day a handsome prince will rescue them from anything, so long as they’re beautiful helpless princesses. None of these princesses really have skills other than being beautiful and clumsy and getting caught in a trap. Little girls grow up thinking that when they get in trouble a handsome prince will save them.

Not like there’s much of a difference between porn for men and female porn like Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey, but it just shows for women we want that prince! We want that guy who will say “You’re beautiful and stunning, and I don’t want anybody else but you.” But that’s becoming harder and harder to find because of the growing rise in porn watching. Not all men watch porn and some are trying to quit. But porn on both ends just conditions people to have certain expectations that aren’t always realistic. Sometimes you have to grow up and leave your childhood behind. When I started dating my boyfriend I left my Magic Mike, 50 Shades of Grey, and fan fiction behind. Why? Because those are all training wheels.

When you find someone who you really love and who makes you feel like a princess, you shouldn’t need to watch sexual movies to get your fix. Just like men shouldn’t need porn once they’re in a relationship. But a lot of people say that there’s a difference between fantasy and real life. Is there, though? I don’t get how anyone with a conscious can knowingly and deceivingly watch other naked women parade around and have sex with strangers, as well as watch men who are the whole package strip before you without feeling guilty at all. 

That’s why I’ve never understood the arguement people make: it has nothing to do with you. Typically people watch porn for one and/or two reasons: they like watching/reading sexual material, or there’s something missing in the relationship. I feel like people feel entitled so much now a days. People want their cake and want to eat it, too. How is it fair to your girlfriend that you would watch various naked women, with surgically altered bodies having sex in all kinds of ways, and tell her it’s nothing to do with her. She’s your girlfriend, of course it has something to do with her. Instead of watching porn, incorporate her into your fantasies so strangers having sex doesn’t do much for you anymore! Ladies same thing! Incorporate your man into your fantasies!

God says pornography is cheating because if you lust after a woman/man with your eyes, you’re already committing adultery. But adultery is having sex right? Nope! It’s a whole bunch of stuff. It’s anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing in front of your partner. Kissing, oral sex, anal sex, sexual intercourse, sexting, chatting intimately with another person, doing something intimate normally saved for your partner. Emotional affairs are just as bad, if not worse than physical affairs. For men, physical affairs tend to be worse, for women it’s emotional. 

Porn is wrong, in any kind of form. Many people look because there’s stuff they like to see they wouldn’t necessarily want to do. But wouldn’t it make your partner uncomfortable if you watched murders all the time, or at least had a dangerous reaction to watching them. Is everybody who likes a horror or crime flick a murderer? No. But too much prolonged exposure to violence and sex cannot be good for anybody. Understand that your ChanningTatum’s  and Jenna Jameson’s aren’t real, they’re actors and paid to fulfill a role. It’s wrong for anyone to place unsaid expectations on a partner. When you watch male or female porn, you’re silently telling your partner they should look like that, act like that, etc. At the end of the day, it’s wrong to do so.

3 thoughts on “Why “Boys Will Be Boys” is wrong.

    • sexpluspornminus October 19, 2016 / 4:01 am

      Thank you! That means a lot. Your advice has inspired me a lot and I try to write from the heart.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Initiator-Life with Tranquility :) November 7, 2016 / 5:00 am

    Amazing thoughts, most of the persons have same feelings but many time afraid to give words.
    Keep it up bcz all thoughts are helpful for all in any way.
    Good work and good motivation.

    Liked by 1 person

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