One Man Can Change the World.

Yesterday marked two weeks of my partner not having watched porn, but also two weeks of me not looking through his phone. It hasn’t been an easy two weeks at all. It’s been tense, stressful, painful and amazingly brutal all in one. But it’s also been gracious, a learning experience and loving, as well. 

I got my partner a book “Reigning Champions: How to Overcome Lust Addiction,” and I’ll say that anyone who struggles/knows someone who struggles with this addiction to read this book. 59 pages of material but full of knowledge. 

Even though this has strained my relationship, the aftermath and knowledge gained from this experience has been incredible and has actually made me closer to my partner. Some experiences we learned I will pass onto you. 

  1. First, don’t lie to your partner. Ever. Even if you think you’re doing it to just spare their feelings, don’t. The pain of knowing in a moment you weren’t worth the truth is painful.
  2. Second, this isn’t an issue you can overcome yourself. Without being accountable to someone, you’ll fail. While it is highly recommended you find a man in your life who has overcome this problem, for a lot of men this is hard so a partner can be helpful. When you feel you’ll slip up having someone to talk to can prevent that. And just telling someone if you do slip up can minimize that relapse from worsening and repeating. 
  3. Third, find ways to direct your boredom/stress. Porn is something that many fall back on when times are hard, they’re bored, or just their curiosity takes over. But at the end of the day there’s many healthier things you can do with your time.
  4. Lastly, respect your partner. They love you for who you are, warts and all, and you should do the same. They love you despite the hold lust has over you, so you should love them and work with them to conquer this. When you think of porn and want to watch it, or just want to skim through some pictures, your partner should pop in your head. Don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want them to see or hear, even if they wouldn’t find out.

I’m proud of my partner and I’s progress, but it takes time. There’s ten more weeks until the real battle begins (three months has been the max he’s gone without porn of any kind), but it takes prayer, Jesus Christ’s love and the love between two people to overcome any issues that come up. Take everyday at a time, and understand that it takes a lot of work on both partners’ parts to deal with an habit or addiction. The addict partner has to admit they have a problem and be willing to accept help, and the support partner has to support, love and accept their addicted partner through the reboot stage. 

Everyday is a battle. Lust is everywhere. We all get tempted everyday when the news mentions the latest celebrity sex tapes and nude pictures, or when movies come out with explicit sexual material in them. But it’s all about stepping back and saying, “I’m going to read a nice book today.” Finding a healthy hobby and overcoming internal issues is key to beating lust. A lot of people with lust issues are insecure and try to compensate for something they’re lacking/have too much of. 

Love ❤️ makes the world go ’round. Love is when two people come together to make their worlds better. With love we can conquer everything. But some people try to keep things from someone to prevent themselves from hurting that person, but in the end we always find stuff out sooner or later. Guys and girls, do yourselves a favor: don’t lie. Admit your warts and admit when you need help. If someone loves you they’ll help you with everything. 

8 thoughts on “One Man Can Change the World.

  1. Soulja 4 Christ October 20, 2016 / 4:40 am

    You both are still in our everyday prayers. Congrats to your partner on the 2 week milestone!

    Liked by 1 person

    • sexpluspornminus October 20, 2016 / 11:54 am

      Thank you very much 😊
      He’s doing well and he’s already noticing a difference in such a short time. I got him a book “Reigning Champions” and he’s gonna read it today. I’m just happy because he’ll feel so much more confident and strong and happy. One day at a time. I guess it helps that he’s putting in new effort, like being way more open with me about the topic, trying to get me to check his phone even though I don’t want to, and being supportive of my blog. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Soulja 4 Christ October 20, 2016 / 10:26 pm

    Sorry for the late reply.

    Thank you very much 😊

    You’re welcome! 🙂

    I am glad to hear he is doing well! That was very nice of you to get the book for Him and to encourage Him to strive forward… I personally know how the struggle can become emotionally painful as time presses on as the mind goes through the emotional detox. So I want to encourage the both of you to continue to take it minute by minute then day by day. because tomorrow could be worse or better because one thing I’ve learned is there is also a spiritual side to the addiction meaning satan loves to try and make a person fall back into their old habits because he knows and understands the persons struggle to remain porn free.

    There is VICTORY in the blood of Jesus and as long as your boyfriend will admit to himself that he cannot fight the addiction alone then He will be well onto the road of great recovery. For many years I struggled fighting not to watch porn and 6 months was the longest I went before I had fallen in the past. I finally admitted to myself that I needed a higher power on my side which is Jesus to help me fight my battles with the porn addiction and now I am almost a year strong. But I didn’t get there with out some tough battles that where ahead of me. I literally cried at times because the pull within was so strong to watch porn for stress relief.

    I will continue to pray for you both and please if you don’t mind let your boyfriend know He is welcome to email me via the email used for this comment I’m a good listener without passing judgement. I know he has you but I wanted to extend the opportunity to be able to talk to a Christian male that has been through the same struggles.

    May God’s grace and peace be upon you both God Bless.

    Teck,

    Liked by 1 person

    • sexpluspornminus October 21, 2016 / 1:27 pm

      Thank you for being supportive of us, he likes the idea of having a Christian man to talk to. He said it hasn’t been hard for him to resist his urges, he said he was trying before but seeing how I was angry and sad towards him for a week and knowing he caused me so much pain is motivating him to try harder. He’s reading his book today and I will continue to pray for him. It’s hard when him and his friend have been exposed to violence and sex from age 10-11 so they’re both desensitized. He’s coming around and understanding it’s serious. Even with violence he doesn’t bat an eye to stuff me and other people do. It’s hard cuz his dad, brothers and best friend are very into violence and sex, so I’m concerned that they may pressure him to relapse at some point.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Soulja 4 Christ October 21, 2016 / 2:41 pm

    You’re welcome! I am glad to hear it’s not hard for Him at this point and my hopes are it just becomes easier to stay away. Some people have a harder struggle then others. It’s great news to hear He’s motivated because He doesn’t want to hurt you or make you sad anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sexpluspornminus October 21, 2016 / 2:44 pm

      He’s overcame drugs and drinking all the time. I told him somethings you can do in moderation like drinking, but with drugs and porn you can’t do in moderation cuz it’s too much of a bad habit. He said it’s not hard at all it’s just he gets curious after some time but he’s gonna talk to me and stay away. I hope the men in his life don’t give him or me a hard time

      Liked by 1 person

    • sexpluspornminus October 21, 2016 / 9:02 pm

      Also his little brother is inspired by him reading the book and wants to try to avoid porn. He’s 17 and a virgin though. Do you have advice for him?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Soulja 4 Christ October 21, 2016 / 11:29 pm

        The only Advice I can think of is to have him read Proverbs chapter 5 I say this because it talks about the type of women to avoid that will lead to breaking his virginity which I am guessing he doesn’t want to do.

        I also recommend the Joyce Meyer’s book battlefield of the mind I say this because the battle with porn starts on the battlefield which is the mind. There is a free audio book version on YouTube…

        I apologize I cannot think of anything else at the moment.

        God Bless

        sincerely
        Mike,

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s