The Dangers of Settling

From the time we are young, we have a good idea of what we want out of a future partner. Obviously there will be subtle differences between your adolescent and adult Prince Charming. It is extremely important to make sure you don’t settle. 

Now I’m not advocating being shallow, but it is important to have a partner that satisfies your physical, emotional and sexual requirements. For me, G is everything I could ever want in a partner. I can believe someone else is attractive, kind, etc., but I give myself exclusively to G and expect the same from him.

Whether you initially believe it or not, regardless if porn is “cheating” or not, you’re depriving your partner from the sexual aspect of your life. If you’re a Christian like me, you believe that a union between two people is a binding contract and that you’re exclusive with one person. You don’t intentionally flirt with someone else, touch someone else, fantasize about someone else, or touch yourself/satisfy an urge to images of someone else if you’re horny or bored. If you’re a Christian, you’re breaking the contract between yourself and your partner. 

It’s why I advocate the importance of finding a partner who meets all your requirements. Guys, if you like busty women find someone busty because you will never be satisfied by someone who isn’t and will only be hurting her. Let her find someone who will be happy with her size and who will treat her like a queen. When you settle for someone you are setting them up to be hurt by you. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t 100% satisfied by my body, my face, my personality and quirks, etc. 

Porn users; how would you feel if you knew your partner only settled for you because they felt they couldn’t get with someone better? Let’s use men as porn users and women as partners for this analogy. Guys; say you came home one day and saw your wife pleasuring herself with a sex toy even without porn. How would you feel? Especially if the toy is bigger than you and your wife seems to enjoy it more than you. Your wife tells you it’s no big deal, that it’s nothing to do with you and she’s used a sex toy her whole life. That wouldn’t erase the frustration you feel. It would probably make you wanna use porn or masturbate to get even with her, no? Well that’s how women who hate porn feel.

It hurts to feel compared to other women and no matter how hard you try to be sexy that you feel it isn’t enough to please your partner. In the example above, the male partner was sad and felt his wife settled for him with the sexual aspect even though she was compatible with him in every other aspect. The male partner felt inferior and like his masculinity was being called into question. Men, it is so defeating for a woman to know her man is looking at naked women online. Regardless of if “every man does it” (false), or “it’s a guy thing” (also false), it still hurts. 

When you look at porn and your partner doesn’t like it, it is as if you are telling your partner “I am settling for you. You are physically and emotionally what I want, but I need something more sexually than what you can provide for me.” 

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